Fractures of Belonging

Adopted children are self-invented because we have to be; there is an absence, a void, a question mark at the very beginning of our lives. A crucial part of our story is gone, and violently, like a bomb in the womb. The baby explodes into an unknown world that is only knowable through some kind of a story — of course that is how we all live, it’s the narrative of our lives, but adoption drops you into the story after it has started. It’s like reading a book with the first few pages missing. It’s like arriving after curtain up. The feeling that something is missing never, ever leaves you — and it can’t, and it shouldn’t, because something is missing.

That isn’t of its nature negative. The missing part, the missing past, can be an opening, not a void. It can be an entry as well as an exit. It is the fossil record, the imprint of another life, and although you can never have that life, your fingers trace the space where it might have been, and your fingers learn a kind of Braille.

Whatever adoption is, it isn’t an instant family — not with the adoptive parents, and not with the rediscovered parents. … Adoption is so many things at once. And it is everything and nothing.

It’s why I am a writer — I don’t say ‘decided’ to be, or ‘became’. It was not an act of will or even a conscious choice.  I had to be able to tell my own. I write my way out. I believe in fiction and the power of stories.

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About creatornorthshoregirl

Adopted at birth, orphaned by her adoptive parents by age 15 - Patti has made her way in the world since that time until recently... reunited with birth relatives - she is thrilled to be a Mayflower descendent, 5 x great grand daughter of Ezekiel Gooderham (of Gooderham & Worts Distillery, Toronto), 21 degrees of separation from Queen Victoria, a descendent of United Empire Loyalists - Butler's Rangers - which help establish Upper Canada and a London Born Mother who made it through the bombings of WW2. What this means to Patti? Her tenacity and adaptability are not only proudly her own but also passed down through her genetics. Human Journey Storyteller www.youtube.com/channel/UCuqugfbhcwO8qzqlCaBDuIw vimeo.com/user1892390
This entry was posted in Be Yourself, Creative Process, Dare, Experiences, More Creator, Playful Spirit, Stay Extraordinary and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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